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The Transporter

Let's see, Statham did a bang-up job in Snatch, and watching the previews led me to believe that Shu Qi is hot. Its an action-packed film with an [hot] asian actress in supporting role. How can it go wrong? 'Let me count the ways.'

The movie has a solid premise as far as action films go. Ex-military Frank the Transporter has setup a nice little business for himself. Job after job, works out great until he breaks one of his own rules "3) Never open the package." And with the introduction of Hong Kong actress Shu Qi, the film goes quickly downhill. I don't blame Shu Qi because with that kind of script anyone would like like a complete idiot. However the corny lines are compounded by her thick accent and obsequious attitude. 'Ooh let's see, this guy was obviously working for the kidnappers, but since he's a handsome ex-military white guy, I think I'll cook him breakfast and fetch his milk and sleep with him...'

What makes the film even worse is the martial art exhibitions that look like they're stolen from a compilation of Jet Li and Jackie Chan movies. There is one particular scene where Statham ties up two bad guys with his sweater that looked almost identical to the Jet Li move in 'Romeo Must Die.' I don't mind a little imitation Statham can't pull it off in my mind.

Usually, I can look past the cheesy dialogue and unbelievable plot (see Triple-X review). But this film was ridiculous. I would recommend seeing this movie only if completely stoned and looking for a good laugh.

Pro:
Great car chases
Lots of things go boom
Lots of ass-kicking
Shu Qi is still hot

Con:
Makes asians look like complete idiots
Soundtrack is horrible (saxaphone music for a little scuba diving?)
Dialogue only serves to make you laugh (out of frustration at its stupidity)

Thumbs down.